The adult children of aging parents frequently find themselves in difficult situations. They may need to attend medical appointments with their parents, assist them with financial matters and handle maintenance tasks at their homes.
In some cases, adult children need to have difficult conversations with their parents. They may need to address pressing legal, medical and financial matters even though their parents may come from a generation where openly talking about such issues isn’t common.
Some conversations can be very difficult to approach. How can concerned adult children approach the topic of estate planning with their parents?
Reference an outside example
Frequently, the easiest way to start talking about estate planning is by highlighting what could happen without appropriate paperwork. Perhaps a friend of the family recently died, and their children are currently embroiled in probate litigation. Real-world examples involving celebrities or people the family knows can serve as an icebreaker to bring up a difficult conversation.
Adult children may also want to mention the limitations of intestate succession laws in Washington. If aging parents die without a will, their surviving spouses and children have to divide the estate among themselves.
That process can lead to conflict and can exclude certain people who could be beneficiaries of the estate, including close family friends or grandchildren. Exploring whether parents have a will and what terms they have included in the document could help older adults see the value in establishing an estate plan or modernizing an existing one.
Highlight medical emergencies
Estate planning for older adults involves more than just allocating their property to others after they die. They need to plan for medical emergencies, including permanent incapacitation related to cognitive decline.
Talking about dementia and other medical conditions that can leave older adults unable to manage their own affairs can be an uncomfortable conversation. However, if older parents take the time to establish documents in advance, they can protect their resources, provide clear instructions regarding their preferences and prevent their loved ones from fighting over authority and critical decisions if an emergency arises.
Although conversations about estate planning can be uncomfortable, they can also be beneficial for everyone in the family. Encouraging parents to create or update estate plans can help the entire family manage the consequences of medical challenges or a parent’s eventual passing.